In Pain, Love & Desire
by VeriCo2307
Summary: Three years after Hogwarts and Voldemort is in full power. What will happen when a mysterious disfigured stranger is brought to St.Mungo's and assigned to Healer Granger? What will she do when she discovers who he truly is? LoveHate & LifeDeath. DM
1. An Unlived Life

**In Love & Desire**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. I'm making no money from this except for my own personal pleasure.

**Author's Note...My chapters will be short..but good..so I hope you'll enjoy.**

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Chapter 1: An Unlived Life

It had been three years since Voldemort had come to power. The Golden Trio managed to gradute from Hogwarts, although grieving at their losses. The loss of many lives before and during their last year were too much. Albus Dumbledore's death had affected them most, for he had been close to them. Harry Potter swore vengeance at his funeral and left to become an Auror and continue on his mission to detroy the horcuxes. Ronald Weasley was recuited into the newly formed Quidditch team called 'The Grwaping Wasps'. The studious Hermione Granger went onto becoming a healer at St.Mungo's. And this is how the trio chose their separate paths and lost contact for a long time. Their separation affected each in different ways. Although Harry and Ron both had things that occupied them into forgetting. But Hermione..She could not. Everyday she healed, and everyday she grieved at the wonderful life that had been stolen from her the night Dumbledore died. She clenched her fists at the memory. She only hoped there was something she could do. She wrote to Harry and Ron once in a while but both were in their separate worlds and had found no time to get together.

"Healer Granger?" the inquiring voice pulled her out of her trance.

"Yes?"she said

"Umm, they just brought in a little boy, he's been bitten by a weerewolf.."

"I'll be right there..." Since Voldemort had managed to convince the werewolves to join his side, there had been more attacks than ever. Especially on small children, since they were the easy prey.

She headed over to the room they had labeled 'The transformation room', because here will be were the new werewolves would be learning of their horrible fate.

She could not help her tears as she saw the small child laying on the bed, unconcerned at the moment at what his life would soon become. Everyday she saw the horrors of the War. Each brought on more pain and longing for.. for... for what? what exactly was she waiting for? She did not know.

At the end of her shift, she went tot he changing room, and put on her muggle clothes and left for her flat. She was tired, but she needed a little pick me up. She went into a Starbucks and ordered a strawberry frapuccino. Then she sat at the table farthest away from the crowd and stared out the window. It had started raining. she sighes as she thought about ehr life. How did it get so messed up? She ha da great job with great pay, plus she was helping people and doing something she loved. Or at least what she thought she loved. She felt so alone. So utterly alone. She couldn't help but blame herself for that. She had refused to liev, it was like she had given up her life because Voldemort returned. _'Why am I doing this?, I can't stop living my life beacuse there is a War going on..' _The truth was, that she had estranded herself so much and for so long, that she did not knoe how to return to the living.

"Hermione?, Hermione Granger?"asked someone from behind her.

She turned her head. Right before her was none other than a very handsome and very grown up Dean Thomas. "Dean? is that you?"

"Yeah!..Wow, Hermione! You look great!" he added as he bent to her and engulfed her in a friendly hug.

"As do you!.. wow, long time no see.How have you been?" she asked, signaling for him to join her.

"I've been really good. I work for the Ministry now. I'm in the Dark Arts & Auror force department." he said

"Oh. sounds great.. Bet you are loaded with work ?"

"Yes, tell me about it. Everyday we ge ttips about You-know-who's whereabout and of supposed death eaters. I'm glad to be away from it though. anyway, what do you do now?"

"I'm a healer, at St. Mungo's"she added

"Oh Wow...I knew we couldn't expect anything but greatness from you, hermione.." he added as looked at her intently.

She blushed under his gaze. "Thanks Dean. But no, I'm not doing something as important as you are. Any updates on the War?"

"Well, today two more muggles were murdered. I don't know who though, because I wasn't in charge of that case. But I heard it was somewhere in the London suburbs. An old couple, I believe."

"An old couple? Wh- Where did they live?" she asked, fearing the answer.

"I'm not sure of the address, but I know it was in a neigborhood called 'Glenhurst', I believe they had a cat, although we don't know of it's whereabouts."

At hearing this, a samll sob escaped her mouth. And tears started pooling in her brown eyes. Dean looked at her and a worried expression crossed his face. "Hermione? what's wrong?"

"I- I think those are ...my parents!" she cried, she could not contain the grief and satrted sobbing as the tears started falling. Dean walked over to her side, as people stared at them. He bent and hugged her. She cried on his shoulder as he rubbed her back and told her that it might not be them.

But she knew. She had known, she had expected something like this to happen to her. Why? she did not know. But she only wished she had been there to help them. She suddenly got up and pushed him back. "I'm sorry Dean.." she whispered and she ran out into the street and apparated into her parents house.

She felt it as she looked around the room. A cold, eerie aura enclosed the house in its folds. It sent shivers up her arms. She ran up the stairs and looked for her parents. But they were nowhere to be seen. Neither was Crookshanks. She heard a tapping and turned towards the window. An owl was looking at her. She opened the window and let him in. She untied theletter with shaking hands.

It was addressed to her, from the St. Mungo's director.

_Esteemed Healer Hermione:_

_ It pains me to have to inform you that after you left today, two muggles were brought in after being attacked. They have been identified as Jane and Steve Granger. They were both tortured by death eaters at their home in London earlier today. We tried everything to save them, but I am afraid we were not succesful. You have our most sincere regrets. Feel free to take as much time as you need._

_Sincerely,_

_Louis Jenkins St. Mungo's Director and Head Healer_

Hermione dropped the letter and collapsed on the ground, as sobs racked her body. She layed there for a while and tried to compose herself. Once she had, she grabbed some floo powder and walked into the chimmey. "St. Mungo's" she said.

She arrived at the hospita and rushed to the third floor. She knew that they would have brought them here. Healer Mortis saw her and approached her. "Hermione, I'm so sorry.."he added remorsefully.

"Where are they?" she asked, a cold tone to her voice.

"Follow me" he said, in an understanding tone. He led her to a room and she saw the two stretches at the back. She walked over to them. Both bodies were covered in white sheets. She walked over to one and slowly pulled down the sheet.

It was her mother. A sob caught at her throat, as new tears formed in her brown pools. She caressed her mother's cold cheeks and bent to her and gently kissed her cheek, as if afraid that she might wake her. Healer Mortis left her alone in the room, wanting to give her some privacy. As he closed the door, a young man approache dhim and asked for Healer Granger. he nodded towards the door. The young man walked in and closed the door behind him. He saw Hermione bending over her father's face and kissing his forehead. he then rushed to her side to cathc her as she collapsed on the ground.

She looked up to see who was holding her. She looked into Dean's eyes. She hugged his neck and burrowed her face into his shirt and cried. He held her, for hours it seemed.

She finally managed to calm down. Dean lifted her chin and wiped at her tears. She smiled sadly at him.

"Come on, let's get you home." he said softly.

She nodded and took hold of her hand as he apparated them to her flat. At her flat, he led her to her bedroom and tucked her in her bed. Dean turned to leave but Hermione clung to his hand.

"Please Dean, I do not want t o be alone tonight." she whispered. He nodded and took of his jacket. She scooted and he got into the bed next to her. She curled next to his body as he wrapped his arms around her. Hermione felt the tears in her eyes once again, but soon sleep claimed her to the subconscious.

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**Author's note Hey! hope u liked the 1st chapter.!! oo and yes this story is going to be about Draco & Hermione, but Dean will be there in the 1st few chapters...PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	2. Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters...

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**Chapter 2: Realizations**

"So are you sure you're gonna be okay?" he asked...

"Yes, I'll be fine... Thank you Dean,"

"Ok, if you're sure. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Ok," she answered as he disapparated.

Dean had been so nice to her. He had stayed over and helped her through her first night after her parents death. He had been everything she was looking for and more. He had been understanding, thoughful, caring, loving and...no, wait..she didn't even know if he was married or had a girlfriend or anything! She didn't ask him anything about himself..._'Wow...nice one Hermione...'_ Well, it doesn't matter she has no time for any of that stuff now. As she thought about this, sadness overcame her and she couldn't help but welcome the tears once again.

"Hermione?"

"Ahhh!" she screamed in fright as she slowly turned around."Oh, gosh Harry! you scared the crap out of me!" Harry Potter's head was sticking out of the chimney and it was surrounded by green flames.

"Sorry.." he said as he grinned at her. Then his expression turned to one of sadness and regret. "I..ummm...heard about your parents. I am so sorry 'Mione.."

At hearing his nickname for her, she started tearing up again. "Thank you Harry."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'll be okay." she added

"Well, Ron and I will be visiting you tomorrow... You should not be alone at a time like this."

"I really appreciate the thought Harry but you guys dont need to do that..I'll be fine.."

"No, Hermione! We're your friends and we want to be there for you." he said, getting a bit irritated at her refusal.

"Oh, alright. It'll be nice to see you both."

"Ok, well I have to go now, but we'll be there tomorrow morning." he said and winked at her, as his face disappeared into the flames.

She sighed. It had been along time since she had gotten together with those two.

She went into the kitchen and made herself a PB&J . Her favorite, and one her mother used to make for her all the time. Her mother... She still did not understand why they had been murdered. Why had Voldemort ordered their death? Maybe he had done it to get to her and then getting to Harry.

But no... It doesn't seem logical. She hadn't talked to Harry for a long time. Besides it's not like she's still doing work for the Order. She had quit a year after Hogwarts, it just got to be too much for Hermione. She wanted..no..she needed to know why her parents had been killed. Why did she have to go through this misery and pain? She clenched her fists and swore that she would find out. With a determined look in her eyes she grabbed some floo powder and headed towards the Ministry of Magic.

After all the twirling, that she still was not used to, she arrived at the Ministry foyer. It was a huge cavernous like room. It's ceiling had to be at least 10 stories high. At the very top, you could see the owls flying in and out to deliver messages. In the middle of the room was a magnificent fountain, gleaming in gold. There was a wizard, a witch, a centaur, a house elf, and a goblin at the center of the fountain. Hermione loved that it stands for everything in the magical world and the unity that wizards strive to achieve.

She headed for one of the lifts and touched the button for the 8th floor. She knew that Dean worked there in the Department od Dark arts and Auror force. The lift doors opened and she stepped into a busy room full of commotion and with people running to and from who knows where. She stopped a witch and asked for Dean Thomas's office.

"Keep walking straight until you reach the corridor. It's the first door on the left." said the young witch, then hurried off on her way.

Hermione turned around and headed towards the corridor, when she noticed something. Or rather someone. He was tall and very familiar, he was leaning down talking to a girl sitting at a compartment. He seemed to be angry about something.

"Neville? Is that you?" she asked unsurely. At the mention of his name, Neville Longbottom looked up and a smile creeped into his face. He walked to her and greeted her with a tight hug.

"Hermione! Wow, I can't believe it! I haven't see you in ages." he said happily

"I know, it has been too long Neville."

"You look great. But what brings you here?" he asked her.

"Well, I was hoping to find out more information about ...about what happened to my parents."

At this statement, Neville suddenly felt uncomfortable and worry etched itself onto his features.

"Hermione...I'm really sorry about what happened to them. I promise you that I will do whatever I can to hunt down those sons of bitches for what they did. They will spend the rest of their days in Askaban." he said bitterly.

She gave him a small smile," Thank you Neville, that means a lot to me. But I need to know what happened. Do you think you could help me with that?"

"Umm, we have rules about divulging information to civilians but..." he looked at her unsurely,"..Come with me." He led her into a corridor and through a door. They entered a room full of bookcases, it looked like a filing room. He walked to one in particular and pulled out a file. Then he headed to a table and motioned for her to sit.

"Alright, this here is the file on what we found at the scene. It also has a suspect list and some theories for their murder,that our Aurors came up with."

She looked at the file, it was thin. Somehow it angered her that her parents murder was filed into a few sheets of paper. But she knew that it had nothing to do with them, it was just the way things were done. She looked through the file, while Neville sat across from her and watched her.

_Death Eater Suspects:_

_- Draco Malfoy_

_-Bellatrix Lestrange_

_-Lucious Malfoy_

_-Andromeda Tonks_

The first name on the list caught her attention. Why hadn't she thought of him before? He certainly had reason enough to hate her. And he had, during their years at Hogwarts. She knew that he had become a known Death Eater, and had even risen above his father.

"Neville? Draco Malfoy is among Voldemort's most trusted, right?"

"He is Voldemort's most trusted." he stated.

"Oh."

"Hermione...I know how hard this is for you, I'll try to fill you in on any updates in the case. Personally, I think Malfoy plays a big part in this ..case." he said ominously.

"Yes..but why?"

"I dont know yet, but dont worry. We'll find out."

At that moment the bracelet on her left hand started flashing. She looked at it curiously, she was supposed to be on emergency leave...The bracelet was how the hospital let her know that she was needed. Every healer chooses an object that they are to carry all the time. Then whenever there is an emergency, they are easy to contact.

"I think I have to go." she said, "I'm needed at St.Mungo's"

"Oh, okay. Just remember I'll be here, stop by anytime you need to."

"Okay, thanks Neville." She got up and hugged him. "It was really great seeing you."

With that, she walked out of the Department of mysteries and in the lift she apparated to St. Mungo's. As soon as she got there, a pair of arms pulled her into a trot.

"Oh thank god, you're here." said her friend Healer Gelias.

"Why what happened? because you kno-" Healer Gelias interrupted her, "A Death Eater has been brought in."

Hermione stared at her in shock. She suddenly stopped petrified on the floor.

"Come on, They need you right now!"

"What?! Why? Do they expect me to heal him-her- whatever the hell it is? It could be the one that murdered my parents!" she yelled in outrage.

Her friend looked at her concernedly. "I know this will be hard for you Hermione but, how will you find out if we don't heal him.? " she leaned closer and whispered," He might be able to help us because he was attacked by other death eaters..maybe even You-know-Who himself!"

"You mean, maybe he wanted out and they wouldnt let him? So then, he could tell me who killed my parents..."

"Exactly. Ok, come on. We dont have much time." With that the two healers walked towards the room in which the death eater was in.

Hermione hated death eaters. They were evil, vile creatures. She wasn't sure if she could even call them human, after all they had done. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw, as she stepped into that room. No matter how much she hated them, she couldn't help but feel pity and horror at what had been done to this man.

He was lying on the bed unconscious. His face was scarred so deeply that his features were unrecognizable. Every bit of skin on his face was disfigured. It looked like he had been maulled by a bear..or worse. His chest was bloody and there were deep gashes all over his exposed skin. His breathing was shallow, it was evident to her by the way the ragged breaths proved to be very difficult for him. He was very pale and was turning a bluish color, except fot the skin around the wounds, which was black. And there, on his left arm, right above his wrist was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. It was the Dark Mark. A black skull with a serpent sticking out through its mouth. The sight of it sent shivers up her arms.

She walked to his side, taking a deep breath, and opened one of his eyes, shining her wand at it. She did the same to the other. She noticed his eyes were glazed over and his pupils dialated. But wait..his eyes were the color of steel, a cold dark gray. She had seen those eyes before, but she couldnt quite place them. Next she moved onto his chest. She murmured some incantations to heal the wounds. But these proved to be useless.

"We tried everything, nothing seems to..stick." said Healer Gelias from behing her.

"I think he was stabbed with a poisoned knife or sharp object. I will have to make a potion for that."

"What about his face.? We can't identify him and he is not able to talk due to the wounds and bruises on his throat."

"I don't know. None of my spells seem to work." '_It's like he was attacked on purpose but they did not want his identity to be known'._ she thought.

"Gelias, I think I can heal him, but it will take time...and skill." but she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle it yet. She was afraid that once she did heal him, he would tell her who he was, or she would see for herself. He might turn out to be the one responsible for her suffering. But then again he might be the one to help her find a culprit for her pain.

She decided to help him. She was a healer after all and it was in her nature to nurture and care. Even if it meant caring for someone who hurts and destroys everyday.

She gazed out the window and admired the sunset. For a moment, just that one moment, she forgot about her pain and didn't realize what she had gotten herself into. Little did she know that she had just chosen to embark into a treacherous and dangerous path, but in the end she might reach her own awakening and.._her freedom._

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**A/N: Hey guys! how did you like the chapter.? Bet you're wondering who the mysterious stranger is , huh? lol...You will soon find out, although you can guess.. Anyway please review! you know that button over there is calling your name...:)**


	3. friends for Always

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter...Only this plot...

**_Author's Note: Thanks to my reviewers! at least I know that someone is reading my story...It's only my second fic..so any criticism(constructive plz!) is much appreciated. Anyway enjoy!_**

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In Pain, Love and Desire

_Your Presence fills me up_

_It fills me to the very core_

_If only I could handle it_

_If only I was strong enough_

_But I am not_

_I collapse, unable to return your gaze_

_But, as always you hold me up_

_Bring me up towards you_

_And believe that I am strong enough_

_Your belief is so strong_

_That soon I will believe in it too._

Chapter 3: Friends for Always

Hermione woke up with the sun's rays shining through her window. _'I don't want to get up'_ she thought. The warmth of her bed was too welcoming for her to walk away from it. But she really did need to get up. She had to go to work and...suddenly, she bolted upright.

She just remembered that Harry and Ron would be visiting her today. She looked at her clock and cursed. It was already 9:30 and they would probably be here by 11:00. She got up and took a quick shower, which left her refreshed for the new day. She used a spell to dry and straighten her hair. She wanted to be ready for them and to show them that she really was fine. She couldn't help but notice the puffiness in her eyes, and the black bags on her face. All remains of her long crying sessions. She quickly charmed it all away. Then applied some make up and dressed. She looked in the mirror, slightly amazed at her transformation. She could actually nice, when she set her mind to it.

She went to her kitchen and put in a kettle with water. Later that week she had a date with Dean. He had invited her yesterday, after keeping her company for the night. She didn't think she was ready for it, but she felt so alone and really needed someone to comfort her. Plus, he had been so concerned and caring towards her. She couldn't refuse. She heard a popping noise from the living room. Harry and Ron had arrived. She rushed to the living room and pasted a huge smile on her face.

"'Mione!" , said Ron loudly, he walked towards her and hugged her close. She hung to his neck, she could feel the tears in her eyes again.

"Oh, hermione, don't cry!", said Harry, who in turn hugged her next and wiped away her tears.

"Oh, guys. I'm sorry...it's just been..too long," she said as she stepped away from Harry.

"I know, Hermione we're so sorry." said Ron. New tears formed in her eyes and she couldn't contain the sob that escaped her throat. "I'm so glad you guys are here." with that she broke down on the floor, unable to contain her despair.

Ron gave Harry a look and rushed to Hermione's side. He pulled her to the couch and wrapped his arms around her. Then. Harry sat on her other side and caressed her hair. They truly felt for her and felt guilty at having abandoned her for so long. The truth was that the Hermione Granger they had known had been strong, stubborn, and solid in character. But now, the young woman in front of them was vulnerable, weak, and lonely.

The threesome stayed close like that for a long time. It felt like hours to Hermione. But she felt safe. She hadn't felt so safe and protected in a long time. She was really happy to see them again and was probably enjoying being in Ron's arms a little too much. She finally broke free of his embrace and looked at her two friends. "Thank you guys" she whispered.

She got up and looked them over. "Wow, you both look great! Ron have you gotten taller? And you, Harry, you look so different."

"Ha Ha, yes Hermione, It's because he has been hit on the head too many times. His head has gotten flatter." said Ron trying to lighten the mood and laughing at Harry.

"Shut up Ron. While yours has gotten bigger, and don't even let me get started on your ego."countered Harry.

"What?! I can't help it if the ladies love me..." he answered, a huge grin plastered on his face. Hermione just laughed at them. It really was great to see them.

"Well, I'm gonna get you boys some tea and we can catch up." she went into the kitchen, living Ron and Harry on the couch.

"So, what do you think mate? It's really hard on her.." said Harry.

"Yes, well we couldn't expect anything less...I'm just..mad at myself for not being here for her..earlier." said Ron.

"I know. We are gonna need to do something about that."

"But, you know Harry, she looks really good. You know she's really grown up." added Ron, a mischevious smile creeping itself onto his face.

"Oh no, Ron! please she's just been through a really rough time. She doesn't need you hitting on her, not right now! Besides you guys tried in seventh year and it didn't work." said Harry.

"True, but now we're both more mature and..different. Besides like you said, she's going through a difficult time and I could help her get through it." He really did want to help her. He still felt strongly for her.

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Meanwhile in the kitchen, Hermione was preparing the tea. Wow, she was surprised at how quickly the two had helped her mood. Of course she was still sad, but she was almost happy too. They both had changed so much. Harry had really grown up into an attractive man. She felt very proud of him, for what he did. And Ron..Ron was ..well he was just so grown up. He was about a head taller than her. He had grown into a man with a large chest and she could tell that under his shirt there was a plate of hard muscles. She could not deny her attraction to him. He looked so handsome and the freckles he had had, seemed to have disappeared. She shook her head and put the tea and bicuits onto a tray. Then she took it into the living room. 

Ron and Harry smiled at her as she walked into the room.

"Wow, 'Mione you look really beautiful," said Ron making her blush at his complement.

"Err...thanks Ron." she said timidly. She set down the tray and gave each of them a cup. Soon they were submerged into conversation. Finding out about the other's lives and events. Hermione learned that Harry was very confident in his search for the horcruxes. He needed to find the last one before being able to confront Voldemort. He seemed to have gotten wiser and had grown into a very powerful wizard.

Ron had moved onto playing for his favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons. His position was keeper. With all the training he had gotten strong and had a rough muscled look to him. Oh yes, Hermione was very attracted to him. They were both proud of her, for having made it through Healer training. They applauded her for her success, although she still felt that she had not accomplished as much as they had. Why did she do that? She always tried to put herself down.

"Hermione?" asked Ron, pulling her out of her thoughts. She turned to him inquiringly. He nodded to the chimney. She saw Dean's face in the green flames.

"Oh, Dean!"

"Hey Hermione, sorry to interrupt. Hey Harry, Ron." he said cheerily to them.

"Hey Dean! How ya been man?" asked Harry

"Pretty good, how about you guys?"

"We've been good," answered Ron.

"Ron will you give me an autograph.?" he asked

Ron eyes instantly brightened and he grinned,"Sure thing mate!"

"Alright but I have to go now, so just give it to Hermione. I jst wanted to check up on her, you know. By the way, you're still meeting friday night, right?" asked Dean.

"Yes, of course," said Hermione, she felt kind of awkward with Ron and Harry in the room with her.

"Alrighty then, I'll see you then. And guys, it was great seeing you again. Take care" Dean waved at them and disappeared.

"Wow, I didn't know you and Dean were dating," exclaimed Ron, kinda bummed out.

"We are not, actually this will be our first date."

"That's great Hermy..its great that you haven't put your life on hold because of the war." commented Harry.

_'Yeah right, that's all I've been doing lately'_ she thought. She smiled at them. They went on to talking about the Quidditch World Cup and then to Harry and Ron's girlfriends. Harry was dating a muggle witch, he seemed really happy. She was happy to know that Ron was single at the moment. It seemed like time flew by. Without them realizing it, the morning had turned to noon and then to evening. The sun was starting to set in the background.

Hermione did not want to say goodbye. Today had been a great day for her. It almost felt like old times, when her worries had centered on doing her Potions homework and passing her NEWT's. But she knew that they all had lives to go back to. Soon after, Harry got up and said that he had to be on his way. His girlfriend, Macy would probably start worrying about him. So he kissed Hermione on the forehead, hugged her and disapparated home.

Hermione was sad to see him go, but he had promised to keep in constant touch with her. It suddenly dawned on her that she was alone with Ron. She started feeling nervous and a clammy feeling overcame her. _'Oh control yourself. He is only your best friend of like 7 years..Of course he is much hotter now..'_ She turned to look at him, only to find his face really close to hers. He gazed at her with an intensity that she had never seen in him before. She felt like she could swim in his pools of light, calming blue. A sudden feeling of safety overcame her, and she noticed that he was getting closer to her. His face was now only inches from hers...

She cursed at herself in her mind and closed in the gap. _'Hermione...,'_ Ron whispered her name as he tucked a her hair behind his ear. She saw sparks at his touch, it just felt so..right. Unable to contain himself, he crushed his lips to hers. He kissed her ever so gently at first, then he increased the pressure as he wrapped his arms around her narrow waist. She felt the kiss all over her. She felt it all the way down to her toes. She sighed into his mouth, giving him entrance to her moist mouth. As he slipped his tongue and probed her depths, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Pushing her hands deep into his fiery hair. They finally released to gasp for breath. She looked into his eyes and saw longing reflected in his. He wanted her. She could see it, and she wanted him too. She needed him so badly.

He leaned in to kiss her again, and she opened her arms to welcome him in. He backed her into a wall. He placed his hands on either side of her head and gently pressed his lips to hers. She deepened the kiss and he followed her eagerly. Her arms once again wrapped around him, exploring his broad shoulders and back. She gasped as he started kissing her neck, moving up to her ear. Her mind was battling inside her. She wanted to give in to her longing but her brain told her to be logical and to be careful with her treasure. Because Hermione Granger was a virgin and she had tresured her innocence in hopes of giving it to her prince charming. But she didn't know if Ron could really be him. She needed to be sure, that he..he was the one. Yes she was attracted to him and she hadn't felt like this for a long time but she was not sure. Ron stopped kissing her, he sensed that she suddenly was not into it anymore. "Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Ron, I'm sorry. I..I can't do this."she said

He stepped back from her, his head filled with her scent. He understood though," It's okay, I'm sorry. It was my fault."

"No, no it's just that I can't...right now." she said. He leaned in and kissed her cheek then hugged her. "It's okay really, 'Mione. I think I should be going anyway. I'll check in on you tomorrow."with that he disapparated from her house.

"Bye...",she whispered. Her mind was waging a war with her heart. She really needed him, but she knew that she might not be able to stop herself from...from..what? Falling in love with him. Why was she so afraid, so afraid of letting herself be loved. maybe she was just afraid of getting hurt. She sighed and realized that she was late. She had the night shift at St. Mungo's tonight. She had a lot of work ahead of her.

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**ok..this is a long chapter...but the friends needed a good reunion. Don't worry this is not about to turn into a Ron/Hermione fic..i hate those..it'll just be that way for a bit, because she needs to learn to open up and Ron will help her with that..and then..dun dun dun...Oops i've said too much...I want some reviews, so I wont update until a get a good number of them! lolz, PLEASE R&R**

**Vero**


	4. A Healing Gesture

In Pain, Love & Desire

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter...Only this plot...**

Author's Note: Thanks to those of you who reviewed. I'm debating whether I should continue this story or not..so let me know what you think. Also, This will be Ron/ Hermione for a few chapters, but then... lol...Read on!

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Chapter 4: 

Hermione Granger was running down the hallway, trying to reach the 3rd floor. She walked into the elevator and waited. They weren't allowed to apparate in hospitals due to all the confusion it would cause. People could only apparate or floo to the foyer, which was on the ground floor. So, Hermione was stuck doing it the old muggle way, with one's feet. Finally, the doors opened and she practically sprinted to her patient's room.

He was still there. The death eater. The window was open and the moon reflected upon his skin, giving him an eerie glow. He was awake and moved his head as she came in. She walked towards him and was about to check his pupils, when he grabbed her wrist with enough amount of force to make her wince. But his eyes...his eyes were begging with her. It seemed like he was trying to plead with her for something, but what?

"What is it? Are you hurting?", she asked him.

At the sound of her voice, his eyes widened and he shook his head violently.

"No, stop. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you," she walked away from him and he seemed to calm down. Hermione had never in her life expected a death eater to be so..afraid. He was like a wounded animal, afraid to let others near him. She wondered what had really been done to this man. She walked to him once again and plucked out a few of his brown hairs. She needed them for her potion.

"I'll be right back, don't worry, I will find a way to get you better", with that Healer Granger walked out onto the lab to begin her potion. It was gonna be a long night.

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He couldn't believe it. It was her! How could they have done that to him. his own father?? But then again, when had that man ever done anything that didn't involve his benefit in some way. Even if it involved hurting his own son. He turned his head and winced at the pain shooting through his neck. Oh yea, he remembered why he was here now. 

He had refused to obey the Dark Lord's order, and had been punished for it. But no, his punishment was merely another part of the plan they had concoted. He was to serve them better lying in this hospital, because he would be close to...her. No, he couldn't let them involve him in this again. He was supposeed to have killed them, but his own conscience had failed him. So now he had to finish the 'job' or say goodbye to his life and..her, forever.

He had seen the pain in her eyes, the sadness. He was the one who had caused it and it ate him inside everyday. The thought of her hurting was more painful to him than all the physical pains that he had to endure. But he could do nothing about it. She had seen his dark mark. He was sure of it, because even though she had treated him nicely, he could still sense some fear in her because of what he was. He was surprised thoguh, that she had actually consented to helping him. But then again, he had always known that she had a nurturing nature. He had seen for himself.

He had been thinking too much, he thought, as he felt a throbbing headache coming on. He shifted in the bed, gingerly, and dozed off to sleep.

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Healer Granger was bent over a book, reading the instructions for the potion. It seemed it would take three months to complete, assuming that there would be a full moon on it's last day. Hermione put her head in her hands and sighed deeply. The wounds in her heart still felt raw to her. her parents death and now having to deal with the death eater...she didn't know what to do. 

She made a list of the ingredients she would need. Her friend, Healer Geales had left her a book she had asked for. It contained information on very dark curses. She read through it trying to find something to heal the cuts and bruises on the death eater's body. Finally, she found a spell that looked like it might work. She smiled to herself and quickly left the room.

She walked over to him. He was deep asleep. Maybe she could heal him without waking him. She leaned close to his face pulling out her wand. She murmured the incantation, followed by a flick of her wrist.

His skin started glowing for a moment and it seemed like it was working, but then something went terribly wrong. A black mark started spreading from all the wounds on his face. It looked like his face was covered in grime. Suddenly the darkened skin started bleeding and his eyes snapped open. He released a scream of pain and Hermione winced at the agony in it. She tried spells to make the pain stop but his wounds kept bleeding profusely. She didn't know what to do, if she didn't do something soon he would bleed to death.

She did the first thing that came to her mind, she put her hands on his face. She felt the blood and the torn skin protruding under her fingers, but it seemed like the blood had stopped. At her touch the wounds closed immediately and his skin looked flawless of any marks. She lifted her hands and admired his face. After she removed her hands, the deep cuts and bruises appeared again.

"What the-?" she swore...

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A/N" Hey guys...WOW...i knoe i havent updated in a long time...i was busy with finals and i had writer's block..lol...short chappie...im trying to get back on track...anyway please REVIEW D 


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